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business newsEconomic Snapshot: How Would Larry Flynt Spend His Proposed Bailout?
Our unscientific poll.
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Citing Americans’ waning sexual appetites amid the country’s economic woes (adult DVD sales and rentals, for example, are down 22% for the year), Hustler founder Larry Flynt -- along with Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis -- recently asked Congress for a bailout of the pornography, er, sector.
The request -- for a whopping $5 billion -- is little more than a publicity stunt dreamed up by two men of equally ill repute. Still, with all the free money that’s been sloshing around lately, it got us thinking: How would Larry Flynt spend his proposed bailout?
How Would Larry Flynt Spend His Proposed Bailout? |
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Exclusive rights to use "Stimulus Package" as the title of an upcoming film.
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Jerry Falwell's corpse for reasons to be revealed in a future issue.
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Scotchgard. Lots of Scotchgard.
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Casting calls for other actresses who bear uncanny resemblance to female Republican candidates.
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Ladders, telephoto lenses and maps to local sorority chapters.
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Glossier print to prevent adhesion.
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Another Hustler Mansion. Failing that, a sensible 2-story townhouse with an above-ground pool.
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