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Seven Deadly Sin Stocks


How to profit from the other guy's sinful ways...

Pop Quiz, Sinners!

What is the following?

Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.

A) Seven ingredients to one whale of a weekend
B) The "Seven Deadly Sins" as decreed by Pope Gregory and popularized by artists from Dante to Brad Pitt?
C) The starting point for an investment basket
D) All of the above

Obviously the answer is D.

There's nothing more reliable than human-kind's tendency to migrate towards the behaviors summarized by the Seven Deadly Sins. They are impervious to recessions, depressions, boomtimes and bust. From the self-righteous to the willful pagans and everyone in between, the question isn't whether we will commit the seven deadly sins. The question is simply which sin we will be most guilty of at any given moment and how much of that sin we can afford.

We aren't here to judge, Minyans. We're here to profit. Thus, with no further ado and no identifiable sense of shame, I present: The Seven Deadly Sin Stock Basket!

Lust: Playboy Enterprises (PLA)
Seems almost too obvious but Playboy, as a brand and business, seems like one of the most attractive available brands in publishing. Maybe it's just giving away too much of the milk for free to be an attractive marriage candidate for the M&A crowd...

Gluttony: Morton's Restaurant Group (MRT)
The only thing better than gluttony is gluttony you can bill back to corporate.

Greed: Berkshire Hathaway (BRK.A or BRK.B)
According to Warren Buffet, if Berkshire had a logo it would be a fist clenched around a wad of cash. As it turns out, you don't become one of the world's richest men just by being avuncular and folksy.

Sloth: Tempur-Pedic (TPX)
So... very... tired.

Wrath: Smith & Wesson (SWHC)
America's biggest and best producer of handguns. Great for both wrath and to control the other guy's potential envy.

Envy: Google (GOOG)
Seriously... is there anything that drives you crazier than thinking of those Google guys riding around in the Google Jet, playing "Go Fish" for million dollar pots? Maybe it's just me...

Pride: Allergan (AGN)
The company's customer base is thrilled with the gravity-defying, wrinkle-killing results of Allergan's products. This joy would be obvious if the injections hadn't rendered user's faces utterly incapable of expressing any human emotion whatsoever.
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No positions in stocks mentioned.

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