Youtube: Kangaroo Court of Public Opinion

Greetings from New York, where I’ve got what amounts to my second “Synthetic Weekend” in 3 work days. That’s right, Minyans - it’s another day away from the tube today.

I don’t do well with free time. The last time I had some, I moved cross-country to go on TV. Regardless of where you eat today, your waiter had a plan equal to or better than mine. Now he soaks body parts in your broth. I’m a statistical outlier, and I accept that fact.

Back to my inability to handle free time. As I vowed on my last free day, I’ve spent the last few days trying to get to know the folks who have taken the time to distribute angry screeds in my direction on the worldwide web.

My goals were twofold: One, the sick thrill of saying “hi” to a fella who waved a hockey stick in my face on the Internet. I couldn’t fathom how I enraged these people so much, but I needed to know. Depending on the answer, I planned on doing either much, much more to antagonize them, or to eliminate the routine completely.

Two, people are almost universally wonderful in person, and wretched ass-bags in print. The latter is why I don’t Google myself. YouTubers are a whole different kettle of fish. They want to be seen. Being seen is the raison d’etre of a man wagging a hockey stick at my televised face.

So, for an E-list talking head like me, it’s generally accepted that people in public are civil (if not exactly nice). On the other end, the anonymous posters are meaner than a snake with an earache. Being equally reluctant to interact with either group, I never remove my iPod in public (unless I’m with Najarian) and observe the “No Self-Googling” commandment with fervor.

My question: Why would a television show about money -- and a good television show, as these things go -- cause you such rage that you would offer to fight me “in front of any net, anytime”?