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Minyanville's Business Briefs Exposed: Ford, Cadbury Schweppes, Pepsi...

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Business briefs from a uniquely Minyanville perspective...

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Quality Is Job 2... or 3... or 4

The Ford Motor Company (F) won a ruling yesterday that barred the import of counterfeit Taiwanese F-150 truck parts, which Ford said had "flooded the U.S. market." Ford, which posted a $12.7 billion loss last year, reportedly discovered the fake parts when an engineer came across an unlicensed grille that was made well and fit properly.


Hammin' It Up in China

China is feeling the effects of inflation, and for Chinese households, the most dramatic change has been a 29.3% increase in the price of pork. Analysts believe this will lead to a spike in the menu prices of #11, #19, and #27 countrywide.


What a Turkey

Cadbury Schweppes (CSG) has agreed to buy Intergum of Turkey for $450 million. If the acquisition is a success, Cadbury plans to buy other related companies, including Intergum of Chicken, Intergum of Muscovy Duck, Intergum of Squab, and Intergum of Guinea Hen.


Back in the Former USSR

PepsiCo (PEP) and PepsiAmericas (PAS) won a bidding war for Sandora, agreeing to buy 80% of the Ukrainian juice firm for $542 million. "Finally, people the world over will have access to what they've desperately wanted for years: Ukrainian juice," said a PepsiCo spokesman. "Next, we're planning to roll out Senegalese oysters and Icelandic broccoli. Hey, we're just doing what the market demands."


No Laughing Matter

The French dairy and beverage maker Groupe Danone announced the resignation of the chairman of its troubled joint venture, Wahaha. The company had no comment, but a competitor who wished to remain anonymous said, "The chairman quit? WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"


Oh Canada...

Canada signed a free trade agreement with Iceland, Liechtenstein, Norway, and Switzerland, Canada's first such agreement in six years. Canada is extremely pleased with the deal, as it should ensure a stable import market for…um…well…let's see…uhhh…oh, right-fondue.


Just Settle Down

Anxiety over the potential for higher inflation, driven by a string global economy, is preoccupying investors, according to The New York Times. This report is a stark contrast to earlier data, which showed that most investors were preoccupied with getting a good table at STK, dating strippers, and Panerai watches.


We Want Beer!

Anheuser-Busch (BUD), the exclusive U.S. importer of InBev SA's brands, including Stella Artois, Bass, and Beck's, has run into distribution problems resulting in low inventories of those beers. Reaction among drinkers has been mixed, ranging from slurred to incoherent to unnecessarily aggressive.


Money, Money, Money, Money...Money!

Madison Avenue has identified high school sports as a new opportunity for advertisers and is attempting to gain favor with student athletes, thereby gaining lifelong customers. Next up for marketers: beaming commercials directly to the insides of toddlers' eyelids, suturing sample-size bottles of cologne to consumers' upper lips, and piping an undetectable vapor into people's homes that will cause them to "sleep-shop."


Rolling Stoned

Rolling Stone magazine will start using "carbon neutral paper," which Rolling Stone claims adds no carbon dioxide to the atmosphere. Eric Bates, Rolling Stone's deputy managing editor says, "We're publishing some of the world's greatest photographers and artists and the print quality of recycled paper does not do them justice." To pick up the slack, sources say Wenner Media's corporate policy will now require the strict use of pesticide-free, organically-grown marijuana.
No positions in stocks mentioned.

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