Writing Your Will: Choosing a Parental Successor

Leaving my daughter in the care of complete strangers for her exchange program this month reminded me how grateful I am to know where she'll wind up in the event of my premature demise.

When I wrote my will, the most important part to me was determining who would be the legal guardian in the event her father or I were no longer able, or around, to fill the job.

We chose my best friend from college, a mother of three I’ve known since 1974 who lives in my town and shares my values. She’s the most sane person I know with great kids a bit older than my own.

Since my friend also knows me as well as anyone alive, I trust she would help my child make life decisions I could support and would pass down some of the important “Laurie lore" -  those stories about “the time your Mom…”

I also like her husband, although he was tangential to the decision. So was money, because I’ve taken care of the feeding, clothing and education of my daughter through a good life insurance policy.

Deciding who you'd want to raise your child forces you to confront a lot of realities about your blood relatives.

The truth is, while I love my parents and would want them to remain active in my daughter’s life, I couldn't envision them in their 70s dealing with the ins and outs of life with an adolescent. As it turns out, neither could they.

And there are good reasons why my sister, the godmother, is a less-than-optimal choice for guardian.

This made it easier to pick a friend over a family member, although both of the friends I considered are as close as family.

My other option was a couple that's married, but childless. I’m sure they could do a good job, but it would require my daughter to move to a new town.

Having raised three kids in the same neighborhood, my college girlfriend knows the ins and outs of my daughter’s educational options (I figure moving in with a whole new family is enough change for any kid to have to digest in the absence of her biological parents). Plus, my friend has the space.

She and her family also have the technological savvy to know which Apple (AAPL) gadget makes sense to buy, which Sony (SNE) TV is the most economical and which Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF) garments are too over the top.

Naturally, it’s important to ask the prospective guardian before making the arrangement legal. When I asked, once she was convinced my parents wouldn't want the responsibility, my girlfriend accepted without missing a beat.

Which is what I knew she’d do.

How have you handled this issue? Weigh in on The Exchange.