Sorry!! The article you are trying to read is not available now.
Thank you very much;
you're only a step away from
downloading your reports.

Quick Hits: SEC Blames Porn for Ponzi


Brief scrutiny of today's headlines.

The Securities and Exchange Commission takes seriously its mission of "protecting investors and maintaining fair, orderly, and efficient markets."

Except when SEC officials are distracted by gigabyte upon gigabyte of tantalizing hardcore porn.

The SEC's inspector general released a scathing report last month accusing numerous employees of accessing porn on company time, according to Propublica. One horny accountant-type guy "used his SEC laptop computer to attempt to access Internet websites classified as containing pornography, resulting in hundreds of access denials."

Another "flagrantly used Commission resources, including Commission Internet access, email, telephones and printers in support of his private photography business for several years."

The SEC has taken heat recently for its failure to nab Bernie Madoff before his $50 billion scam collapsed, sending shockwaves through an already brittle economy. But who has time to unravel Ponzi schemes when the hottest girl-on-girl action is just one click away?

Angry? We all are. But don't worry - the SEC has taken a firm, unrelenting and punitive response to the shenanigans.

Deputy Director for Public Affairs John Heine had this to say: "In each of these [cases], there is some sort of response from the Commission."

Some sort of response?

Here's our guess: A high-5 followed by a fist-pump and a fraternal slap on the ass - watchdog to watchdog.
< Previous
  • 1
Next >
No positions in stocks mentioned.

The information on this website solely reflects the analysis of or opinion about the performance of securities and financial markets by the writers whose articles appear on the site. The views expressed by the writers are not necessarily the views of Minyanville Media, Inc. or members of its management. Nothing contained on the website is intended to constitute a recommendation or advice addressed to an individual investor or category of investors to purchase, sell or hold any security, or to take any action with respect to the prospective movement of the securities markets or to solicit the purchase or sale of any security. Any investment decisions must be made by the reader either individually or in consultation with his or her investment professional. Minyanville writers and staff may trade or hold positions in securities that are discussed in articles appearing on the website. Writers of articles are required to disclose whether they have a position in any stock or fund discussed in an article, but are not permitted to disclose the size or direction of the position. Nothing on this website is intended to solicit business of any kind for a writer's business or fund. Minyanville management and staff as well as contributing writers will not respond to emails or other communications requesting investment advice.

Copyright 2011 Minyanville Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Featured Videos