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Off-Balance Sheet: Coors' Littul Speling Problim


In 1990, Coors Brewing launched the "Literacy. Pass It On." initiative, a five-year push to help wipe out illiteracy throughout the country.


Relax, it's only money. Here in the 'Ville we like to keep things smart, but we also love to laugh. All work and no know how it goes. With that in mind we give you The "Off-Balance Sheet," a place where Minyans can experience humorous takes on the world of finance, personal stories from our Professors and Minyans and all the other stuff that makes life worth living. So take a break from the flickering ticks and dive in.

In 1990, Coors Brewing launched the "Literacy. Pass It On." initiative, a five-year push to help wipe out illiteracy throughout the country. Coors' goal was to teach 30,000 Americans to read by 1991, and 500,000 by 1995.

In a press release at the time, Mark Lee, an Assistant Marketing Manager at Coors said, "Literacy is one of the most top-of-mind issues facing America today. Consumers want to help, and they will look for ways to do so."

The campaign raised more than $6 million for local, regional and national literacy organizations. One way consumers were able to help was to buy as much as possible of this:

Now, that's not a misspelling on the part of the neon sign manufacturer. That's the actual name of the product.

"It was an intentional spelling of the word arctic. It's distinctive. It's memorable," said Judy Hartley, a Coors spokesperson. "We don't think of it as a misspelling. We think of it as alternative spelling."

Hmmm…alternative spelling? Here's an "alternative" spelling of the word "amnesty" by a woman Coors could have helped quite a bit:

Here's a photo of a gent who, judging by his St. Louis Cardinals T-shirt, is likely a Bud man, but would also have made a fine candidate for the Coors literacy program:

Or, perhaps he just thinks actor/director Rick Moranis needs to get a brain and accidentally misspelled his name.

Rick Moran(i)s

Artic Ice is no longer in the Coors portfolio of products. But, thanks to carbon emissions, we can now enjoy Greenland Beer, a 5.5% alcohol brew that is actually made from Arctic ice.

The Greenland Brewhouse in the Inuit hamlet of Narsaq-390 miles south of the Arctic (not Artic) Circle-is using water from the melting polar ice cap to make their beer.

A hearty quaff like Greenland calls for a manly meal to enjoy with it-preferably one killed and dressed with your own hands. But, what about that pesky problem of killing your dinner, then having to waste time seasoning it?

Ladies and gentlemen, fret no more:

From Season Shot's website ( Season Shot is made of tightly packed seasoning bound by a fully biodegradable food product. The seasoning is actually injected into the bird on impact seasoning the meat from the inside out. When the bird is cooked the seasoning pellets melt into the meat spreading the flavor to the entire bird. Forget worrying about shot breaking your teeth and start wondering about which flavor shot to use!

Season Shot comes in the following flavors:

  • Cajun
  • Lemon Pepper
  • Garlic
  • Teriyaki
  • Honey Mustard

Mmmm…lemon pepper!

A Final Note:

I have discovered a beer with an even less-appropriate name than Coors Artic Ice:

However, some marketers choose to go with the tried-and-true straightforward approach:

An dat soots me just fyne.

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