Independence Days

One of the most important lessons I want to impart to my daughter is self-sufficiency. I’m apparently not alone.

Research from Women & Co., a division of Citi, documents that money -- not marriage -- is the hot topic of conversation these days among mothers and their daughters.

There’s nothing more empowering than the ability to take care of yourself and identify and finance your own dreams. Dispel any happily-ever-after financial fantasy you might have.

Prince Charming isn't coming. And even if he does, he might be unemployed in this economy!

While growing up, I honestly can’t recall having a single conversation with my own mother about a wedding or some man taking care of me. I never thought about it or expected it. But as family lore has it, at 18 months, I also told my mother to close the bedroom door all the way on the first night in our new house because I wanted to be alone.

My dreams all involved independence and getting out into the world - making a difference, lots of travel and adventure. Thus it’s probably no surprise that when I eventually did get married, I eloped at New York City Hall and found it very romantic.

We used the money we didn’t spend on a big event for a trip to Switzerland and the downpayment on a condo.

Fast-forward to today. As the times get tighter, I’ve been increasingly open with my daughter about our financial situation. What we can afford and what we can’t. We explore the trade-offs.

So when we go grocery shopping, my daughter studies the register tape. When we dine out, she checks the tab and calculates the tip. When shopping for clothes or for shoes, we talk about prices. When talking entertainment options, we evaluate the costs. We still enjoy seeing a movie in a theater, but forgo the refreshments.

She’s learning, and we’re saving money.

I was especially tickled the other day when I had to use a credit card to pay for gas. We were at a no-name filling station in a different state. I didn’t have enough cash and I didn’t like the idea of giving my debit card. Something felt off. I’d rather have my credit card run up by fraud than my bank account depleted.

As we drove off with a full tank, my daughter commented that I usually use a debit card and wanted to know why I didn’t this time. I was able to give a lesson about card fraud and identity theft - among other things.

How much do you share with your kids about your money? Weigh in on The Exchange.

Get your kids started on the road to financial literacy in MinyanLand.