The Nanny-Share Diaries

Nothing is more critical to a parent’s well-being and productivity than knowing their kid is safe and well-cared-for while they’re at work.

Just about nothing is more expensive than quality childcare.

It’s an individual family choice whether to use a family member, a group daycare setting or an individual/nanny. Each choice has implications, both economically and socially. (More on the options from Scott Reeves.)

When my daughter was born, it was a different economic era than that of today. My then-husband and I each held full-time jobs. I took three months of maternity leave. He then took one month of paternity leave.

We intended to use a local daycare center, but wound up instead sharing a nanny with another family who had a son a few months older than our daughter. The arrangement didn’t last long because the family moved out of town. But it’s the kind of set-up that can make more individualized care affordable when it would otherwise not be.

There are definite pros and cons. Consider these things if you want to share a caretaker:
 

• Test your compatibility. If your families have widely different viewpoints on what’s fun and healthy for kids, a share will not work.
  
  
• Clarify the costs upfront. Be specific about who’s paying for what (i.e. the cost of a double-stroller you would otherwise not need). Also, who gets to keep what when you part ways.
  
  
• Find a willing caretaker. Dealing with two kids and two sets of parents is not for everyone.
  
  
• Pick a house and stick with it. If you’re the one with the longer work hours, it makes sense for your home to be the host location. But be prepared to accept it when someone else’s kid throws up all over your couch – because it will happen.
  
  
• Pre-plan for sickness. One advantage of individual care is it doesn’t matter if your child is sick or not. If you’re sharing with someone else, it does. At the same time, you’re also hostage to the reliability of your caretaker. If the caretaker has children, the health of those kids becomes important to you, too.
  
  
• Make a written contract. A caretaker contract should include specific duties, hours, provisions for overtime, vacation, sick days, etc.
  
  
• Be honest with yourself. If you’re the type who couldn’t envision participating in a carpool, carepooling is probably not going to work for you.