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Gates Vs. Jobs: Battle of the Super Geeks


Which billionaire would win in a brawl?

Meet Bill Gates, all-around nice guy, and Steve Jobs, scallywag-in-residence.
Never mind that Microsoft (MSFT) sends you screaming into the night as your computer takes a swan dive for the 99th time, or that iPhone is the Apple (AAPL) of every geek's eye. A survey conducted for Minyanville found that the vast majority of people prefer Bill to that other guy.
And not for trivial things, gentle reader. This is for big, big, big stuff like babysitting, a mad dash to Vegas and who'll get the future nod from historians.
The online opt-in email survey, conducted in June by BIGresearch, a Columbus, Ohio consumer intelligence company, received 4,082 responses and asked questions most of us never knew needed to be answered.
Let's start with the basics: Bill Gates changed the world, putting more computing power at the fingertips of PC users than the Apollo astronauts had when they landed on the moon in 1969. He did it at a good price, too, and he had a hand in the prosperity of countless companies. Not bad, for a college dropout.
Meanwhile, the only thing wrong with Apple is all those doe-eyed, proselytizing true believers who want to bear witness to the everlasting glory of their infernal Macs and iPhones. Steve, do something!
The Babysitter's Club
Gates recently called it a career at his little software shop, so he may be looking for part-time work. If you think he'd make a good babysitter, you're not alone: 69.2% of those surveyed and 71.5% of women agreed that he'd be better at playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey with the kiddies than Jobs.
Gates must know something about being a gentleman. A whopping 78.9% of all those surveyed say Bill would be the safer choice if your wife or sweetie were stranded with a man on a desert island.

However, the internals of the survey suggest those with two X chromosomes know something about the potential for hanky-panky that mere knuckle-draggers don't: Overall, only 77.5% of women say they'd be safer with Bill compared with 80.4% of blissfully ignorant men. (It has to be the glasses.)

Specs aside, 57.3% of all respondents say their sister would be better off marrying Gates; 59.9% of women say he'd be the better catch.
What Happens In Vegas…
Bill's potential to swing from the chandeliers at The Venetian (LVS) is recognized by 54.1% of all women, who say they'd rather spend a weekend in Las Vegas with the Bigfoot of Software than the Grump of Silicon Valley. However, 52.1% of hotties aged 18 to 34 would prefer Bad Boy Jobs. Men split about evenly on this one, suggesting a chronic lack of insight into what Las Vegas is all about.

If you need help when arrested for mopery and japery (or worse) on The Strip, 66.8% of those surveyed would call Gates. More tellingly, 60.1% would prefer him for a seatmate on the long flight home.
The Guy Next Door
This is curious: 68.7% of respondents said they'd prefer Bill to Steve as a next-door neighbor. However, the National Association of Home Builders says the median American house is just over 2,000 square feet - and Gates lives in a waterfront abode about 30 times that size. So don't plan on running into Bill at your neighborhood Piggly Wiggly anytime soon.
Job Satisfaction
A solid majority of all respondents, 69.9%, say they'd rather work for Bill. This isn't surprising, given Steve's purported propensity for hissy-fits and general foot-stomping.
History In The Making
Perhaps Jobs should plan to erect a huge monument to himself: 89.9% of all respondents and 91.3% of women believe historians will give Gates the nod as the era's biggest brainiac.
But being King of the Geeks comes at a price.
Let's Get Ready To Rumble
If you're picking teams for a street fight, 63.6% of respondents, including 68.6% of men and 58.8% of women, would give the brass knuckles and nunchuks to Jobs. Apparently, bopping your opponent with software just doesn't cut it when it's Jets versus Sharks.
Bill will have to sit the rumble out at his $113 million (or so) hovel overlooking Lake Washington - and maybe wonder if he changed the world just so some coconut could cook up a survey like this one.
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