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Four Things You Need to Know About Picking Stocks Against a Chimpanzee


The goal is a more interesting journey.


Editor's Note: While we congregate in Vail for Minyans in The Mountains 3, we asked each Professor to prepare some thoughts on fiscal literacy, how to listen to the market and their area of expertise.

1) Keep the battle on a mental plane. A full grown chimpanzee only weighs about 100lbs yet has the strength of four men. They have hands the size of small dogs and can leap 5 feet in a straight line faster than a man can raise his hands to protect his own jugular. Your advantage is your relatively large brain pan; always go with your best pitch.

2) Their hair is surprisingly thin and soft; their muzzles have the touch of velvet. They also kiss and "groom" your hands and head with a touch that could be confused for that of a gentle child. Yet the fact remains, they could rip your arm right off your body should you let your guard down or pick the stock of an eroding company in a no-growth sector (see: Intel). Stay on your toes.

3) They have a sense of humor. Hard to over emphasize how disquieting this is. Put it this way, your dog doesn't actually laugh at your jokes and it would freak you out if he did.

4) Be mindful of growth rates and management. I picked Home Depot at $41 against a chimpanzee's sell call.

Random Thoughts

  • They're more afraid of you than you are of them.

  • Specialty Retail Stocks are where love goes to die.

  • Children's Retail…it's all about the kids and the fact that you can *always* be talked into spending a little more on them.

  • The goal is a more interesting journey.
No positions in stocks mentioned.

The information on this website solely reflects the analysis of or opinion about the performance of securities and financial markets by the writers whose articles appear on the site. The views expressed by the writers are not necessarily the views of Minyanville Media, Inc. or members of its management. Nothing contained on the website is intended to constitute a recommendation or advice addressed to an individual investor or category of investors to purchase, sell or hold any security, or to take any action with respect to the prospective movement of the securities markets or to solicit the purchase or sale of any security. Any investment decisions must be made by the reader either individually or in consultation with his or her investment professional. Minyanville writers and staff may trade or hold positions in securities that are discussed in articles appearing on the website. Writers of articles are required to disclose whether they have a position in any stock or fund discussed in an article, but are not permitted to disclose the size or direction of the position. Nothing on this website is intended to solicit business of any kind for a writer's business or fund. Minyanville management and staff as well as contributing writers will not respond to emails or other communications requesting investment advice.

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