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Four Things You Need to Know About Picking Stocks Against a Chimpanzee


The goal is a more interesting journey.


Editor's Note: While we congregate in Vail for Minyans in The Mountains 3, we asked each Professor to prepare some thoughts on fiscal literacy, how to listen to the market and their area of expertise.

1) Keep the battle on a mental plane. A full grown chimpanzee only weighs about 100lbs yet has the strength of four men. They have hands the size of small dogs and can leap 5 feet in a straight line faster than a man can raise his hands to protect his own jugular. Your advantage is your relatively large brain pan; always go with your best pitch.

2) Their hair is surprisingly thin and soft; their muzzles have the touch of velvet. They also kiss and "groom" your hands and head with a touch that could be confused for that of a gentle child. Yet the fact remains, they could rip your arm right off your body should you let your guard down or pick the stock of an eroding company in a no-growth sector (see: Intel). Stay on your toes.

3) They have a sense of humor. Hard to over emphasize how disquieting this is. Put it this way, your dog doesn't actually laugh at your jokes and it would freak you out if he did.

4) Be mindful of growth rates and management. I picked Home Depot at $41 against a chimpanzee's sell call.

Random Thoughts

  • They're more afraid of you than you are of them.

  • Specialty Retail Stocks are where love goes to die.

  • Children's Retail…it's all about the kids and the fact that you can *always* be talked into spending a little more on them.

  • The goal is a more interesting journey.
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No positions in stocks mentioned.

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