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"Six Days 'til I have Heir!" and Other Observations


"Mandy is no Sandy"


It's been a while since we've had a good multi-topic Thumping. With no further ado...

Rumors from the Street

Minyan Pre-Mature Middle-Age Crisis (Not his real alias) just drove by in his "chariot of pure, German engineering magic scultped into a sleek, pulsing, machine; just like its owner."

After clarifying that he was referring to himself, as opposed to the bank (who really owns the car), he capered into the house to dish stock gossip.

"I'm hearing ERTS (Electronic Arts, pronounced the way the Scottish say "hurts", by hepcats) had a bang-up Q, baby" he offered whilst checkin' his look in the mirror. "Word is they went $360mm revs and 10c loss... Street is at $327 and 24c loss. A little bird whispered in my ear that pricing held up well, too. Lots of relative newbie shorts in there... Sheep for daddy to fleece, Amigo."

With a wink in the mirror, he turned on his be-gucci'ed heel to "Rev up the Clydesdale's", as he put it.

"Clydesdale's were Scottish" I coughed as he demonstrated a command of "Rev", at the very least.

"Whatever... you know... Beer horses!" his car lurched to a stall. He pretended the move was intentional, to better allow more sharing. "I was long a pile of July calls that expired worthless... that must mean the stuff I'm hearing is right!"

I told him that even the best shepherd has to be the sheep once in a while, but he was gone. Obviously, I'm just passing along the story. It should in no way be taken as advice.

Joy and Payne

Moments after sinking a dramatic putt to win the 1999 US Open, Payne Stewart stopped fist-pumping around the green and turned to his opponent, Phil Mickelson, whose first child would be born the next day. Clutching Phil and looking him in the eye, Stewart congratulated Phil on becoming a father.

At the time, some two years before my daughter's birth, I thought Stewart's action was about 20% too creepy. Too "Hey, fella, I beat you but you're still doin' super!" for me. Looking at the pictures of Mickelson, who at the time had neither a child nor a major, I imagined he felt the same way.

It was my kid who changed my mind, not the story becoming legend when Stewart died in a plane crash weeks after the Open.

Kids redefine you, one way or the other. Their arrival changes everything in ways that can be appreciated from any perspective. You can run with "detached, scientific" (try looking at your newborn and speaking to them in a normal, adult-type voice... it's as difficult as trying to will yourself not to think) to "Machiavelian" ("My son, your very birth sends a chilling assurance of vengeance to those who would oppose me!") to Disney (DIS... "And you got a tickley-wickley belly, don't you? Wubba wubba... " etc.).

Now that I'm a parent, and from the perspective of a guy who is a scheduled six-days away from the birth of a son, I now think that Payne Stewart's "Triumph gloriously while under tremendous pressure" - "Celebrate the moment without reserve" - "Keep it in perspective and pass along what you know to someone who could use it" represents the finest three punch combination of performance under pressure in the history of sport. It's the Triple Crown of Life.

There is no "one answer" to the question "How do you want to be remembered?", which is why Todd-O always poses it.

For now though, and I admit I'm distracted while awaiting the boy's arrival, I think I'd choose to be remembered as a guy who captured Stewart's Triple Crown.

Speaking of Superfly...

Minyan Kneel! has withstood worthy challenges from entries ranging from "A-----e Junior" to "Zod!" but remains firmly in the lead of our "Name Macke's Baby" contest with his entry of "Superfly". Fabulous prizes are at stake and will be presented in Ojai, shortly after the winner convinces the Out-of-my-League-in-Most-Every-Way Mrs. Jeffmacke to agree to name her son based on an on-line contest.

George Gervin never "really" patented the Finger-Roll

My Tivo (TIVO) fixation has generated a lot of patent-related email from Minyans. Forgent Networks (FORG) seems to be the name popping up most often of late, in terms of those who would lay claim to owning the DVR technology functions.

I'm not a patent-lawyer, though I welcome thoughts from those who are (or who have patent-lawyer-like-skills). I don't have a position in FORG but I know they are one of any number of folks jumping into that ring.

I also know that I tried to program Todd-O's DVR knock-off (from some company called "Time Warner" (TWX)?) to record The Family Guy I found the experience utterly baffling, due to the lack of TiVo's patented Season Pass recording option.

So... I'm not saying TiVO is a great company. I'm just saying that it's not TiVO's fault that Todd-O's cultural references are stuck on Fast Times, Mandy Moore and any of the 75 showings of the same four episodes of Entourage saved by his discount-DVR.

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