NCAA Picks Straight From The Gut
Minyanville's highly-unscientific and completely subjective picks in the NCAA tournament.
Forget the Vegas oddsmakers, ignore the line at sportsbook.com, disregard the stats. We have a system that can't lose: we pick teams for arbitrary, pointless reasons, then sit back and enjoy the games. Here are our long positions. Obviously, we're short everyone else. So, crack open a nice cold beer, fire up the plasma, and check back in with us next week to track our results.
- North Carolina over Eastern Kentucky: They introduced the V-neck jersey.
- Marquette over Michigan State: Minyanville's Charlie Mangano, Al McGuire, and Dwayne Wade…'nuff said.
- USC over Arkansas: Look at the cheerleaders, for heaven's sake.
- New Mexico State over Texas: More peyote in New Mexico than anywhere else.
- George Washington over Vanderbilt: Because we're patriotic like that.
- Oral Roberts over Washington State: God's on their side.
- Texas Tech over Boston College: Throwing chairs wins games.
- Georgetown over Belmont: Because Hoya makes incredible crystal wine glasses.
- Ohio State over Central Connecticut State: If the state is good enough for CSN&Y to sing about, it's good enough for us!
- BYU over Xavier: God's on their side, too.
- Long Beach State over Tennessee: Home of Bigg Snoop Dizzle, my nizzle.
- Virginia over Albany: Their ham is second to none.
- Stanford over Louisville: Home of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory and Sergei Brin's alma mater.
- Penn over Texas A&M: They graduated more CEO's than all the other teams, combined.
- Creighton over Nevada: They're in Omaha. Gotta go with Buffett's hometown team.
- Memphis over North Texas: Best ribs in the tourney.
- Florida over Jackson State: Yannick Noah's kid's ponytail is stylish, yet sophisticated.
- Purdue over Arizona: A few boilermakers make everyone play better.
- Old Dominion over Butler: Again, God's on their side.
- Maryland over Davidson: They're gonna give Davidson crabs.
- Notre Dame over Winthrop: Don't mess with the Irish around St. Patrick's Day.
- Oregon over Miami (Ohio): With a name like the Ducks, they've got to be good.
- UNLV over Georgia Tech: They run, they're rebellious, and remember, Tark the Shark.
- Wisconsin over Texas A&M-Corpus Christi: Beer, cheese, and more brandy consumed than all 49 other states combined (true).
- Kansas over Niagra: We loved "Dust in the Wind."
- Kentucky over Villanova: Ashley Judd, most wins of all-time, seven championships, and…oh, Ashley Judd.
- Illinois over Virginia Tech: Because Cheap Trick is from Rockford, IL.
- Holy Cross over Duke: You guessed it: God likes 'em.
- VCU over Duke: Looks like a ticker symbol.
- Pittsburgh over Wright State: Who the hell is Wright State? They can't even spell wright.
- Gonzaga over Indiana: That Speedy Gonzaga guy was great in the cartoons.
- UCLA over Weber State: The Bruins and Boo are the only bears we root for.
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