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NCAA Picks Straight From The Gut

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Minyanville's highly-unscientific and completely subjective picks in the NCAA tournament.

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Forget the Vegas oddsmakers, ignore the line at sportsbook.com, disregard the stats. We have a system that can't lose: we pick teams for arbitrary, pointless reasons, then sit back and enjoy the games. Here are our long positions. Obviously, we're short everyone else. So, crack open a nice cold beer, fire up the plasma, and check back in with us next week to track our results.

We're Long...

East:

  • North Carolina over Eastern Kentucky: They introduced the V-neck jersey.

  • Marquette over Michigan State: Minyanville's Charlie Mangano, Al McGuire, and Dwayne Wade…'nuff said.

  • USC over Arkansas: Look at the cheerleaders, for heaven's sake.

  • New Mexico State over Texas: More peyote in New Mexico than anywhere else.

  • George Washington over Vanderbilt: Because we're patriotic like that.

  • Oral Roberts over Washington State: God's on their side.

  • Texas Tech over Boston College: Throwing chairs wins games.

  • Georgetown over Belmont: Because Hoya makes incredible crystal wine glasses.


South:

  • Ohio State over Central Connecticut State: If the state is good enough for CSN&Y to sing about, it's good enough for us!

  • BYU over Xavier: God's on their side, too.

  • Long Beach State over Tennessee: Home of Bigg Snoop Dizzle, my nizzle.

  • Virginia over Albany: Their ham is second to none.

  • Stanford over Louisville: Home of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory and Sergei Brin's alma mater.

  • Penn over Texas A&M: They graduated more CEO's than all the other teams, combined.

  • Creighton over Nevada: They're in Omaha. Gotta go with Buffett's hometown team.

  • Memphis over North Texas: Best ribs in the tourney.


Midwest:

  • Florida over Jackson State: Yannick Noah's kid's ponytail is stylish, yet sophisticated.

  • Purdue over Arizona: A few boilermakers make everyone play better.

  • Old Dominion over Butler: Again, God's on their side.

  • Maryland over Davidson: They're gonna give Davidson crabs.

  • Notre Dame over Winthrop: Don't mess with the Irish around St. Patrick's Day.

  • Oregon over Miami (Ohio): With a name like the Ducks, they've got to be good.

  • UNLV over Georgia Tech: They run, they're rebellious, and remember, Tark the Shark.

  • Wisconsin over Texas A&M-Corpus Christi: Beer, cheese, and more brandy consumed than all 49 other states combined (true).


West:

  • Kansas over Niagra: We loved "Dust in the Wind."

  • Kentucky over Villanova: Ashley Judd, most wins of all-time, seven championships, and…oh, Ashley Judd.

  • Illinois over Virginia Tech: Because Cheap Trick is from Rockford, IL.

  • Holy Cross over Duke: You guessed it: God likes 'em.

  • VCU over Duke: Looks like a ticker symbol.

  • Pittsburgh over Wright State: Who the hell is Wright State? They can't even spell wright.

  • Gonzaga over Indiana: That Speedy Gonzaga guy was great in the cartoons.

  • UCLA over Weber State: The Bruins and Boo are the only bears we root for.
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No positions in stocks mentioned.

The information on this website solely reflects the analysis of or opinion about the performance of securities and financial markets by the writers whose articles appear on the site. The views expressed by the writers are not necessarily the views of Minyanville Media, Inc. or members of its management. Nothing contained on the website is intended to constitute a recommendation or advice addressed to an individual investor or category of investors to purchase, sell or hold any security, or to take any action with respect to the prospective movement of the securities markets or to solicit the purchase or sale of any security. Any investment decisions must be made by the reader either individually or in consultation with his or her investment professional. Minyanville writers and staff may trade or hold positions in securities that are discussed in articles appearing on the website. Writers of articles are required to disclose whether they have a position in any stock or fund discussed in an article, but are not permitted to disclose the size or direction of the position. Nothing on this website is intended to solicit business of any kind for a writer's business or fund. Minyanville management and staff as well as contributing writers will not respond to emails or other communications requesting investment advice.

Copyright 2011 Minyanville Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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