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Slacker or Square?


Take our quiz, and test your work ethic or slack thereof.

1) The trust fund your parents set up for you has positions in:

A) Short Naked Puts
B) Solar Stocks
C) An S&P 500 Index

2) In the morning, your paper of choice is:

A) The New York Times (Krugman is my boyeee!)
B) The Wall Street Journal (I like to get Dow, Jones)
C) Double-Quilted

3) When you hear the term "earnings per share" you immediately ask:

A) Did they beat expectations?
B) How many shares are there anyway?
C) Are margins better or worse than last year?

4) You're planning for retirement by investing in a:

A) Two words: mobile home
B) Roth IRA
C) 401K

5) "Savings" is to "interest" as:

A) "Job" is to "paycheck"
B) "Investment" is to "yield"
C) "Option writing" is to "premium"

6) Complete this lyric. "One love, one heart, let's get together and _____"

A) "Read The Economist"
B) "Feel all right"
C) If it ain't Debussy, I'm too busy.

7) To get 30 lives in Contra, you must:

A) 30 Lives? Contra? Huh?
B) Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Left, Right, Right, Start
C) Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start

8) Municipal Bonds have historically been attractive investments because of their relative security and __________ status.

A) Tax Exempt
B) Tax Evasion
C) Tax Return

9) The rates of many problematic subprime mortgages are indexed off the _____ Interbank Offered Rate.

A) New York
B) London
C) Amsterdam

10) You got this far in this quiz because:

A) Quitters never win
B) Motivation is my middle name
C) I can't log on to Gawker for some reason

Answers (turn your monitor over, slacker):

Get more than eight out of ten right?

If so, you're a slacker. Congratulations! Pat yourself on the back. On second thought, hire someone to pat you on the back.

If not, you're a square! Get psyched for a lifetime of toiling under corporate taskmasters, interspersed with riveting games of Sudoku and trips to the in-laws. Wait! There's good news! By completing this quiz you've taken an important first step in becoming a slacker.
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No positions in stocks mentioned.

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