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Breaking News with Brodsky


In the aftermath of this Mad Cow saga, it is being reported that Al Jazeera purportedly has a tape of the Mad Cow and the CIA is currently working on it to make sure authentic. Seems that we may have missed the cow by about 45 minutes and there are a number of places where it may be hiding. Unmanned Predator surveillance planes have been dispatched to patrol the borders of Washington State and Oregon where it is believed that cow may be hiding out.

The tape of the Cow says that all infidels shall be destroyed and that the American forces have no chance and will be defeated in our own backyard. I am hearing the tape shows the cow sitting in a cave, or a basement with other cows that may be infected with this disease.

In response to this latest development a press conference was called so that Bush could address these new issues. It broke about 10 minutes ago and Bush assured America and our allies that the Cow would be hunted down and killed. We have put a price of $25 million on this cow.

Rumsfeld has also called a conference to discuss our armed forces. A young reporter kicked off the Q&A with a simple question, "Secretary Rumsfeld, it has been reported that the Cow has massed a big offensive against our forces and we may be in for a long, drawn out fight. What are your thoughts on this?"

Rumsfeld pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and squinting his eyes said, "Are you stupid??? How old are you 12? The Cow has no chance; lucky for you the Cow is dumber than you. Don't ask me a question ever again! In fact that was so dumb I will not be taking anymore questions. You are all morons!" With that Rumsfeld ran off the podium and has not been heard from since.

Well I may be going out on a limb here, but I think we are headed to War. Tom Daschle is speaking right now and his main theme is about how disappointed he is that we could not work things out with the Cow.

"We all live on this planet and so what if this cow is a threat to us and our well-being, he has human rights too. We should be more concerned about HIS rights and less concerned about this country's security," Daschle said. Immediately after this statement was made CNN lined up 10 experts to defend his position and to talk about how badly the GOP has been and is messing this up.

Back with more as the story continues to develop....

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