Breaking News with Brodsky
The tape of the Cow says that all infidels shall be destroyed and that the American forces have no chance and will be defeated in our own backyard. I am hearing the tape shows the cow sitting in a cave, or a basement with other cows that may be infected with this disease.
In response to this latest development a press conference was called so that Bush could address these new issues. It broke about 10 minutes ago and Bush assured America and our allies that the Cow would be hunted down and killed. We have put a price of $25 million on this cow.
Rumsfeld has also called a conference to discuss our armed forces. A young reporter kicked off the Q&A with a simple question, "Secretary Rumsfeld, it has been reported that the Cow has massed a big offensive against our forces and we may be in for a long, drawn out fight. What are your thoughts on this?"
Rumsfeld pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and squinting his eyes said, "Are you stupid??? How old are you 12? The Cow has no chance; lucky for you the Cow is dumber than you. Don't ask me a question ever again! In fact that was so dumb I will not be taking anymore questions. You are all morons!" With that Rumsfeld ran off the podium and has not been heard from since.
Well I may be going out on a limb here, but I think we are headed to War. Tom Daschle is speaking right now and his main theme is about how disappointed he is that we could not work things out with the Cow.
"We all live on this planet and so what if this cow is a threat to us and our well-being, he has human rights too. We should be more concerned about HIS rights and less concerned about this country's security," Daschle said. Immediately after this statement was made CNN lined up 10 experts to defend his position and to talk about how badly the GOP has been and is messing this up.
Back with more as the story continues to develop....
The information on this website solely reflects the analysis of or opinion about the performance of securities and financial markets by the writers whose articles appear on the site. The views expressed by the writers are not necessarily the views of Minyanville Media, Inc. or members of its management. Nothing contained on the website is intended to constitute a recommendation or advice addressed to an individual investor or category of investors to purchase, sell or hold any security, or to take any action with respect to the prospective movement of the securities markets or to solicit the purchase or sale of any security. Any investment decisions must be made by the reader either individually or in consultation with his or her investment professional. Minyanville writers and staff may trade or hold positions in securities that are discussed in articles appearing on the website. Writers of articles are required to disclose whether they have a position in any stock or fund discussed in an article, but are not permitted to disclose the size or direction of the position. Nothing on this website is intended to solicit business of any kind for a writer's business or fund. Minyanville management and staff as well as contributing writers will not respond to emails or other communications requesting investment advice.
Copyright 2011 Minyanville Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Daily Recap Newsletter