Putting Sibling Rivalry to Work

Scott Reeves  Mar 07, 2008 3:40 pm

Putting Sibling Rivalry to Work
 
Lessons learned from peers are often most salient.
 

 
You remember the icky ones: a brother who played in the mud, a sister who excelled at math and maybe even another one who drove you nuts by being right about just about everything.

Yup, siblings.

Now that you’re a parent, you can turn sibling rivalry to your advantage when teaching your kids about money.

Your kids have different personalities, interests and ways of learning but share a common element that’s crucial to your efforts to teach them about money: Each is closer to Kid Central than you’ve been in what seems like a hundred years. This means what they say and do is likely to carry great clout with their siblings.

You will tell your kids at least 1.5 zillion times that they can’t call each other a life form lower than the amoeba, the missing link or life’s lint.

But when one child – not necessarily the oldest – criticizes another for spending money foolishly, let them go at it because the sting of those words is likely to be sharper than parental criticism.

The flip side is an obvious success achieved through hard work and saving – the virtues you work endlessly to promote. If one of your children scrimps and saves for something special, let the others be envious – and learn from the triumph.

If the hard-working kid tells the others, “Hands off!” support that child’s claim to exclusivity. A little bit of envy can be a good thing because it will get the minds of the other kids spinning. The others will quickly understand what needs to be done to get the jacket or gizmo of their hearts’ desire.

Talking about the virtue of hard work is one thing. Seeing it in action – from a sibling, no less – is another.

If one of your kids works hard for something, don’t undercut the accomplishment by simply buying whatever it is the other children aspire to in an effort to keep them happy. That sends the wrong message – whining pays off – and the kid who worked hard will wonder, “Why bother to save?”

Your children probably will have greater influence on each other if they’re close in age. If one child is significantly older than the others, a financial triumph may seen as just more “big kid” stuff by younger members of the family. In that case, explain how and why the older sibling worked and saved for the special purchase – and assure the younger kids that they can do it, too.

“Don’t make a snap decision when deciding what’s fair,” says Linda Leitz, founder of Pinnacle Financial Concepts in Colorado Springs, Colo. and author of The Ultimate Parenting Map to Money Smart Kids. “Think what your words and actions will teach all your kids – not just the one who raised the issue.”
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03-26-2008, 1:31 am
This article is indeed very practical. I have learned valuable lessons from siblings and friends of my age. Most often there is a tendency to follow the most successful person. The one that saved the most was a role model to follow as a kid. This lea
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