A parent losing a job -- for however short a period -- can shatter a child's sense of order and well-being. How you handle this difficult time in your life says a lot about you and can affect your children's development.

The key: If you don't make temporary job loss a big deal, it won't be traumatic for your kids.

“To feel safe, children need to hear you say unemployment is something that happens to many people at one point or another in a career,” says Carolyn Spigel, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and career coach at New York-based Partners in Human Resources International. “Normalize the transition for them by helping them understand that unemployment is a temporary situation – not a major disaster or parental weakness. Children need to see you handle the situation with confidence. This will help them learn that they, too, will be able to manage life's challenges." 

• Always be honest and direct when explaining the situation. Do so in an age-appropriate manner.
  
  
• Maintain your children's routine. Assure them there will be no major changes at school or home.
  
  
• Don't be emotional or make accusations about your former boss or company in front of your children.
  
  
• Don't try to shield your children from the situation with expensive toys or games. Instead, spend more time with them at the park or playing games.
  
  
• Assure a young child that he did nothing wrong and isn't to blame for your job loss.

Be sure to peg your explanation to your child's age and understanding. Tell an adolescent about the pressures of a competitive market and downsizing. Tell your teen-ager that life is about change and one of the keys to being an adult is adapting to new situations and overcoming unexpected bumps in the road.

Never use a teen-ager as a sounding board for your emotions. This needlessly places your kid in the middle of a difficult situation. Kick wastebaskets in private and vent your raw emotions with other adults far away from your children.

With younger kids, you might say you liked your old job and explain that you'll no longer go to the office because your old company now has too many people and too little work and therefore has to cut back. Make it clear the situation is temporary and that you'll find a new job in a few months. If you got into a scrape with your boss, omit the gory details.

Maintain your routine and your children's. This means you must get up at the regular time and can't mope around the house in your pajamas. When you aren't sending out resumes or taking your kids to the park, stay busy with projects around the house.

You know you'll find another job, but a young child doesn't, because this is a new experience. Offer constant reassurance. If you've got a funny and illustrative story from early in your career or your college days, now is a good time to use it. Be sure your child understands that unemployment creates a difficult, but not impossible situation. Keep all discussions light and upbeat.

Remember that a few months will seem like a long time to a child. Your child will need to hear this several times: Looking for a new job is long, tedious and slow, but you know you'll get hired.

Ask a small child to help – and keep it simple. Explain why it's important to be quiet when you talk on the telephone to prospective employers. For a kid in junior high school, compare a job interview with a quiz at school.

Young children won't fully understand the connection between your job and the money needed to run the household. Assure your kid that the family has enough money to maintain the house and keep the refrigerator stocked. But note that you'll be watching videos at home rather than going to the movies and there will be less pizza or eating out. Assure a small child that you won't become homeless, because a preschooler may have visions of sleeping on a hot air grate near Grand Central Terminal. Tell older children about unemployment insurance.

"The older your child is, the more you can ask them to be a part of the situation," says Spigel. "You can involve a teen-ager by asking what extras they can cut back on for a while. This will allow them to feel that they're contributing. You want to be direct with an adolescent, but with a small child keep the explanation simple. Assure your children that everything will be OK. Most important, show your kids a 'can-do' attitude."