"Buffett's buy sends a strong message to markets around the world: "Hey, it might not be as bad as you think. I'm not panicking. I don't think the world is coming to an end. I'm finding bargains, and you should be, too."
 - Morgan Housel, Sep. 24, 2008, The Motley Fool

"The endorsement of Warren Buffett should quickly end credit-market debate about the capitalization and liquidity position of Goldman Sachs."
- Brad Hintz, analyst, Sanford C. Bernstein & Co., Sep. 24, 2008, Bloomberg

I first caught the headlines scrolling in on the Bloomberg terminal window just after 8:15 this morning. At first, there was simply confusion. But with each successive bullet point the confusion began to ratchet up into the creeping sense of disassociation that only occurs when you are in the presence of extreme horror. The eyes may see, but the brain just can't process what is being witnessed.

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BUFFETT SAYS HE WOULD LOVE TO ADMINISTER IT

BUFFETT HOLDING CASH, SAVING SEX FOR OLD AGE

BUFFETT MAKING COMMENTS IN CNBC INTERVIEW

My God, I thought, Warren Buffett is losing his mind on national television. For all their faults, CNBC at least tries to maintain family-friendly programming. But this was beyond the pale. The man considered by many to be the World's Greatest Investor - and not just in the coffee mug sense - was apparently on national television using his billions to solicit some kind of weird sex tryst with another couple.

Sure, no one appears on television, not even CNBC, without holding out the slim hope that the Magic of television will somehow translate into getting laid. But here was Buffett taking things way out of bounds. I wasn't watching the show, but for all I knew various potions and ointments were being discussed and... what's this? Heh. Well, shucks, that changes everything.

Never mind all that crazy nonsense about sex trysts and potions. It turns out there was just a computer window sizing issue cutting off the headlines as they scrolled in. Things are beginning to make more sense now...

BUFFETT SAYS HE'D HAVE INTEREST IN A COUPLE OF AIG ASSETS

BUFFETT SAYS HE WOULD LOVE TO ADMINISTER IT, DISCUSSING U.S. BAILOUT PLAN

... but only barely. There's still this matter of the HOLDING CASH and SAVING SEX FOR OLD AGE. And it turns out that was mostly true.

"It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever,'' Buffett said on CNBC. "I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.''




NEXT PAGE: The Transmogrification of Warren Buffett into Donald Trump...