1) The trust fund your parents set up for you has positions in: 

    A) Short Naked Puts
    B) Solar Stocks
    C) An S&P 500 Index

2) In the morning, your paper of choice is:

    A) The New York Times (Krugman is my boyeee!)
    B) The Wall Street Journal (I like to get Dow, Jones)
    C) Double-Quilted

3) When you hear the term "earnings per share" you immediately ask:

    A) Did they beat expectations?
    B) How many shares are there anyway?
    C) Are margins better or worse than last year?

4) You're planning for retirement by investing in a:

    A) Two words: mobile home
    B) Roth IRA
    C) 401K

5) "Savings" is to "interest" as:

    A) "Job" is to "paycheck"
    B) "Investment" is to "yield"
    C) "Option writing" is to "premium"

6) Complete this lyric.  “One love, one heart, let’s get together and _____"

    A) "Read The Economist"
    B) "Feel all right"
    C) If it ain't Debussy, I'm too busy.

7) To get 30 lives in Contra, you must:

    A) 30 Lives? Contra? Huh?
    B) Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Left, Right, Right, Start
    C) Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start 

8) Municipal Bonds have historically been attractive investments because of their relative security and __________ status.

    A) Tax Exempt
    B) Tax Evasion
    C) Tax Return

9) The rates of many problematic subprime mortgages are indexed off the _____ Interbank Offered Rate.

    A) New York
    B) London
    C) Amsterdam

10) You got this far in this quiz because:

    A) Quitters never win
    B) Motivation is my middle name
    C) I can't log on to Gawker for some reason

Answers (turn your monitor over, slacker):

Get more than eight out of ten right?

If so, you're a slacker. Congratulations! Pat yourself on the back. On second thought, hire someone to pat you on the back. 

If not, you're a square! Get psyched for a lifetime of toiling under corporate taskmasters, interspersed with riveting games of Sudoku and trips to the in-laws. Wait! There’s good news! By completing this quiz you’ve taken an important first step in becoming a slacker.