It’s up to parents to get their children to look beyond themselves and consider the needs of others during the holidays.

This isn’t easy because the tsunami of ads will focus almost exclusively on the kids, suggesting that they’re the center of the season. But it’s not impossible if you take some basic steps to introduce your children to charity long before the holiday rush.

“At an early age, children can put coins in the collection basket at the family’s church or temple,” says Karen Waldron, Ph.D., author of Unleashing Kids’ Potential: What Parents, Grandparents, and Teachers Need to Know.

“Start by teaching children that it’s their responsibility to support their religion. As the child gets older, a portion of the weekly allowance should be donated to charity. For this to have meaning, the allowance must be earned with set responsibilities.”

Avoid window shopping at all times because this often creates unhealthy desires and unreasonable expectations in children. When you shop, go to stores with a specific purchase in mind – and stick to it. Impulse buying is a terrible example for children and one that they may never overcome. Just think of your friends or acquaintances who shop for recreation. Many probably have unopened packages stuffed in a closet and crushing credit card debt.

Teach charity by gradually turning the focus of holiday shopping to others and away from your child.

“Instead of asking friends ‘What did you get?’ make the question ‘What did you give?’” says Waldron, a professor emeritus of education at Trinity University in San Antonio.

Involve your child in discussions about the perfect gift for other family members and close relatives. Swear them to secrecy – kids generally enjoy being insiders, especially if they know something an adult or sibling doesn’t. Encourage them to make suggestions and listen to their gift ideas. Tell your child that it’s important to peg each gift to the recipient’s needs and interests. Teach your child that not every gift has to be practical, but it should show that you’ve put thought and consideration into it before driving to the mall.

Build consideration for others in small steps, perhaps starting at birthday parties. Many parents now give small gifts to each child who attends their child’s party. This is an attempt to include everyone in the special day, but it may teach the wrong lesson.

“On the invitation, parents can say that all toys [given at the party] will be donated to charity,” Waldron says. “Name the charity so everyone, especially the children, understands. This teaches the children that others have needs, too.”

The gifts don’t have to be fancy to make the point. Take your child to the drop-off point to make the donation real to your child. Don’t make a big deal about it. You want your child to understand that giving is part of who you are and it’s your duty to help others. If you make a cash donation during the holidays, have all family members, including the kids, sign the letter accompanying the gift.

Start the lessons on the importance of charity as soon as your child is old enough to see beyond himself, and slowly introduce the idea of abused and homeless kids. Let your child know that not everyone lives in a secure household with loving parents. There’s no need for horror tales – introduce your child to life’s rough edges slowly and underscore the need to support charity.

You want your child to understand that it’s important to support charity throughout the year and not just at the holidays. Start by teaching your child to give up a seat on a bus or train to the elderly or disabled. Never let your child remain seated if someone else needs the seat because this undercuts a basic lesson about understanding the needs of others and therefore the importance of charity.

Some parents shower their children with things in lieu of talking to them. A few buy their children just about every new gizmo under the sun. Kids don’t want things – they want parental attention and affection.

Good parents avoid this mistake and teach their children they can’t have everything and therefore have to set priorities and make choices. Remember: The time spent imparting the lesson is as important to the child as the lesson itself.

If you teach your child the importance of charity, you’re well on your way to raising a kind and decent child who will be engaged in the world.

“Parents have to set an example throughout the year by treating others with kindness and respect,” Waldron says. “Teach responsibility. The family is the first team children know so you have to teach the importance of caring for each other.”

Check out our collection of the very best in parent-friendly personal finance, Shopping With a Purpose, for more ideas and information on helping your children learn and grow through finance this holiday season!