They thought it would help consumer spending. They thought it would curb recession. They thought the gross domestic product would increase by 2.3%.

They thought wrong.

In a world where an economic downturn affects consumer confidence, one new package reigns supreme.

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Stimulus Checks 2. How much do you spend when you've got nothing left to lose?

January, 2008. As a country mourned its economic stagnation, a brave voice bellowed from the rafters. A defiant voice. 

The voice of a loner. A professional. A rebel.

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke: Gun for hire.

Women want him. Men want to be him.

When a subprime mortgage crisis is on the rise, Bernanke is ready for action. Fiscal action.

It was the perfect plan: Taxes in, rebates out. ($300 per dependent child under the age of 17.) Bernanke leaves no room for failure.

But sometimes, the best laid plans are the ones most likely to fail.

This summer, Americans faced a crisis 8 years in the making: An increased cost of living. Air conditioners were silenced. Wal-Mart (WMT) was overrun. People were biking.

But desperate times called for desperate measures.

Without warning, recession crawled from this sea of fear, imprisoning an unfortunate few in their homes - and during vacation season. A grotesque sludge called oil oozed over the nation, choking the jobless and preventing any cries for help.

When 350 million people howl at once, no one can hear you scream.

In a world gone mad, rumors take on lives of their own. Rumor becomes myth. Myth becomes legend. And there are those willing to prove the prophecy by any means necessary.

Now, a plucky band of misfits called the Democrats are setting out on a journey. An epic quest rife with peril, heartache and voter apathy. And an ancient wizard known as John McCain will do everything in his power to stop them.

But in a race to economic recovery, these lovable ne'er-do-wells come armed with a weapon only a precious few now possess: Hope.

Can they succeed? And if so, who will benefit? How long before the whole damn system crumbles?

When you're at the end of your rope, sometimes the craziest plan just... might... work.

Stimulus Checks 2. While the economy may recover - you never will.

Coming soon to an appropriation rider near you.