Despite ill-omened reports from Starbucks (SBUX) (e.g. They’re opening their first store in Bulgaria!), coffee’s always been a recession-themed beverage. Haven’t you read The Grapes of Wrath? All the Joads do is drive, complain and drink coffee.

McDonald’s (MCD) can thank Joe for its recent perkiness: Analysts say that coffee is largely responsible for the 7.1% uptick in Ronald’s global sales. Sales of iced coffee at fast-food restaurants were up 38% last year, according to the NPD Group.

But if we really want to understand Joe, we should go back to where it all began: the Bible. Joseph was the son of Jacob, and, unlike today’s Average Joe, Genesis Joe was sort of flashy. Best known for donning a magnificent Technicolor schmatte, Joseph ran a pretty successful business as a dream interpreter. Big-name clients. Pharaohs, viceroys, that sort of thing. Very successful.

But don’t let the flamboyant coats and celebs scare you. Joseph -- or Yosef -- had his share of common-man troubles, too. His brother sold him into slavery for 20 pieces of silver. Can’t you hear his masters call? “Yosef! Yosef! Yo!”

“Yo”: An exclamation made by many in Philly last week when the Philadelpha Fed announced that its manufacturing index was falling faster than it had in almost 20 years. While those of us from Philadelphia are accustomed to bad news, this has even stalwarts like us somewhat depressed.

Sure, sure, we’re thrilled that the Phillies are in the World Series, but we all remember what happened in 1993: A walk-off home run clinched the series for Toronto in Game 6. All thanks to a guy named Joe Carter.

But back to real bad news: Our economy’s on the skids, and the social mood is sour. With each new government bailout of private institutions, capitalists from all walks of life are seeing shadows of Joe Stalin everywhere. I haven’t heard the “S” word bandied about so much since I watched Dr. Zhivago on that commune. Frankly, it’s gettin’ a little Joe McCarthy up in here.

But I’m not too worried. You see, Joe can’t last forever. - not with 80% of all states reporting a major employment slowdown. If that keeps up, you can be sure we’ll all forget about Joe the Plumber, Joe Six-Pack, Joe Camel, Joe Coffee, and all the rest of them. Joe’s name will be wiped away like a mote of dust in a tornado. There’ll be a new kid in town.

His name is Job.