
I’m counting the days to my annual sojourn down the Jersey shore and have yet to decide who -- or even whether -- to invite friends to come visit.
As a single mom, I’ve enjoyed more than just adult companionship by inviting a friend and their kid(s) to join my daughter and me.
It gave me freedom, too. When my daughter was little, it meant I could safely rise at dawn the way I like to and take off for a solitary walk on the deserted beach, or a bike ride before the heat kicks in.
For my single child, it meant a playmate or 2 in case the place where we’re staying lacks one. When guests have teenagers, it also guarantees a reliable babysitter at a reduced rate.
I’ve learned through experience that taking along someone else’s young child without their parent in tow means no vacation for me. Sometimes I can’t stand my own kid for a 24-hour stretch - never mind somebody else’s.
Plus, the added level of responsibility and scrutiny of one’s familial idiosyncrasies take some of the joyous spontaneity out of the vacationing experience. At least for me.
Then there are the worries that lack of sunscreen vigilence could leave the visiting child with a lower back that's lobster red. I have dubious reviews of this season's new Coppertone spray-on sunscreen . We've had patchy results using it in my household.
If you do choose to take along an unaccompanied kid as a companion for your child, remember to take their medical identification and a signed parental release form with you -just in case you need to visit the emergency room.
It’s also nice to discuss with the parent how much “allowance” to give the kid. That way you can do what you want to do without feeling like you have to deprive your own child of her miniature golf addiction, or pay full freight on everything for the guest.
The money thing facrors in with adult guests as well.
One year I invited a good friend who's on the opposite end of the income spectrum. She arrived with a cooler filled with food to cook, while I’m the type who fills mine with nothing but cold drinks. Okay, maybe a jar of peanut butter, some macaroni and cheese and a can of tuna to assuage kid hunger pangs, too.
Vacations for me are a time to savor the joys of restaurant dining and local specialties. But if you’re with someone whose budget is different from your own, it can get tricky. So think it through and keep some time for you to do things just the way you like.
I’m leaning toward taking a classic Gilmore Girls road trip approach and going it alone this year for a few reasons:
My trip is cut back to 4 days from the usual week, given limits on both my budget and time.
Now that she’s 11, my daughter can be left on her own for a little while. This allows me to take advantage of early morning mommy “breathing time” while she sleeps in.
More important, as she’s on the cusp of adolescence, I’m looking at a few years where my daughter has something to criticize about every aspect of my existence. We’ve been apart a lot this summer and we’ve missed and are appreciating each other.
Just under 2 weeks left for us to scavenge the house and collect all the loose change we need to play skee-ball. I’m still beating her, but she’s definitely got the Jersey Girl gene.
How do you handle the ins and outs of vacationing with friends and other people’s children? Weigh in on The Exchange.



















