Remember: Imposing rules rather than negotiating guidelines treats your student like a child and will make an awkward situation worse. Your student, now a young adult, needs guidance - not mandates.

In return, your student must realize that his return won’t interrupt your retirement savings or travel plans. Don’t postpone that dream vacation because you need to buy your student an airline ticket for a job interview or clothes for a first job. If you spring for plane ticket or fancy duds, make it clear that it’s a loan and you expect to be repaid as soon as your student gets his finances in order.

If your student has misunderstood the situation and wants to buy a fancy car or take an extended vacation in Europe, it’s time for “the talk” about money.

If your student has substantial debt, don’t bail him out. Instead, offer tips on avoiding debt in the future and suggest ways to restructure current debt. The first student loan payment will be due about six months after graduation. This is your student’s responsibility and it’s a mistake to take over the payments.

Your student knows only your financial success and didn’t see your early struggles. Remind your student that success doesn’t drop from the sky. If a refresher course is needed, offer tips on how to draft a budget.

“This isn’t a straight road,” Morris Shaffer says. “You have to set clear expectations or the situation can become muddled. You want to use this time to further connect with your child - you don’t want to build up resentments. After a year, everyone is probably ready to be on their own again.”

The Web sites of major brokerage houses and banks offer solid financial tips to grads, including T. Rowe Price (TROW), Merrill Lynch (MER), JP Morgan Chase (JPM), Wells Fargo Bank (WFC) and Wachovia (WB).

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