Don’t count on a bad marriage turning into a good divorce.

Divorce should be a simple division of assets, but often becomes a slugfest. Remember: your attorney has a vested interest in litigating every little thing to run up the bill and if you want to make your soon-to-be-ex miserable, many attorneys will gladly help.

“The biggest mistake people make going through a divorce is not seeking outside help on financial matters,” says Mark Stempel, a certified financial planner and founder of Mark Stempel & Associates. “This could lead some to accept a settlement that’s not in their best interests. Attorneys may not know the tax ramifications of certain financial decisions. You need someone with financial expertise.”

Think what you want: for most, it’s out of a dead relationship. To be smart about divorce, park your emotions and do your homework.

The numbers are straightforward if you keep your emotions out of it, but a nasty ex can easily turn personal finance into a battlefield. Here’s what you’ve got to do to protect your finances from the incoming nastiness:
 

• Locate and organize all financial records.
  
  
• If possible, close all joint accounts. If that’s not possible, freeze the accounts.
  
  
• Make copies of all financial records, one for yourself, a second for your attorney and a third for your financial adviser.
  
  
• Calculate your net worth. List your assets.
  
  
• There may be tax consequences for the forced sale of stock or other investments. Consult your financial adviser.
  
  
• Maintain a written record of all expenses incurred during the separation. This includes bills jointly paid.
  
  
• Before meeting with your future ex at a settlement conference, make a list of all items you want covered in the agreement.
  
  
• Don’t try to play nice. Use items you don’t care about as bargaining chips to get what you want in the final settlement.
  
  
• If you’ve amassed significant wealth as a couple and if you suspect your estranged spouse is hiding assets, you may need to hire a forensic accountant to track down the stashed cash. Remember: this can be expensive and if your future ex is unusually devious and nasty, there’s no guarantee of success.
  
  
• Plan to settle your divorce out of court. This will reduce attorney fees and help preserve your sanity.
  
  
• Be sure to check the settlement against your wish list before signing off. Don’t quibble about minor points.

Divorce is governed by state law and minor details may vary from state to state. In addition, there can be differences in interpretation and application of the law among judges at the same courthouse.

Your case will be assigned to a judge early in the proceeding. Ask around about the judge’s temperament, attitude toward men and women, alimony and joint custody. Most judges are smart, diligent and handle cases impartially. But if you’ve drawn a temperamental dummy with a bad reputation and if early appearances are chaotic, ask to have your case transferred to another judge. Your attorney may be reluctant to do this because he routinely appears before the judge on other cases, but remember that you’re paying the bill and that makes you the boss. If your attorney refuses your request to transfer the case to another judge without giving you a good reason, get a new lawyer.

Remember: you must state a reason for disqualifying the judge originally assigned to your case and simply saying you don’t like the cut of his jib isn’t sufficient.

There are no guarantees of a favorable outcome for your case. If your attorney promises things in the final divorce decree, it’s time to get a new lawyer. No one can state with certainty how the judge will decide your case and a good attorney will tell you only what’s been done in prior cases. A good attorney will discuss likely outcomes, but can offer no guarantees.

Keep in mind that your attorney is your advocate in court – not a friend. There’s no need to prattle on about the gory details of your divorce and remember that the meter is always running when you talk to your lawyer.

Irrational nastiness is expensive. Playing hardball rather than getting down to the routine division of property runs up the billable hours and inflates the final cost of what should be a straightforward case.

According to some estimates, divorce is a $28 billion-a-year industry in the United States and the average divorce costs about $20,000.

You can avoid fat fees if you put your anger and disappointment aside. Remember that marriage is a contract. Divorce is ending the deal according to the law in your state – and nothing more.

Many brokerage firms have Web sites offering financial planning tips, including T. Rowe Price (TROW), Merrill Lynch (MER), Goldman Sachs (GS) and Morgan Stanley (MS). Major banks also offer solid information, including JPMorgan Chase (JPM), Bank of America (BAC), Citigroup (C) and Wells Fargo (WFC).