It’s birthday month in my house. That means my daughter counts down once every morning and again each night the number of days remaining until she turns 11. This is a kid who starts to plan the next year’s birthday a day or two after the one she just had. It’s not about presents. She just loves the process of planning a social event.

As her partner in crime, I’ve learned there’s an inverse relationship between money spent on birthday parties and enjoyment thereof. It pays to put in the time to create a memory, not to buy one.

For the first two years of her life, I was the politically incorrect working mom, holding toddler bashes at McDonald’s (MCD). It was all about climbing and sliding and convenience for me. Age three was at her nursery school. Four was at a local art center. Five was at a big indoor playground. By age six, we’d moved to a girls only format, but I can’t remember what we did. Age seven was the homemade talent show. One of the guests had a meltdown because our electric keyboard didn’t have the same touch as the one she used at home.

The all-time favorite was age eight. I bought yards of discounted chiffon from a store in the Garment District and transformed our living room into a harem for a belly-dancing party, complete with lessons from my friend the economics professor, who moonlights as a belly dancer. We liked the look so much I kept the décor up for three more months!

The belly dancing party doubled as a sleepover and my daughter and her friends created their own fun. They froze the frames of the male bathing scene during a VCR viewing of A Room With a View. Then they photographed each of themselves grinning broadly beside their blurry naked male of choice. (Imagine my reaction when I opened that set of pictures from the photo lab!)

Ages nine and ten were hotel parties. Embassy Suites is a mom’s heaven. The rooms are huge and the snacks and buffet breakfast roll into the price. Plus, the pool and interior courtyard layout give kids a lot of roaming room.

Some of the things I’ve learned along the way: Forgo the pricey prepackaged invitations and decorations from places like Birthday Express (BDAY). My daughter likes to make invitations on the computer and takes the time to decorate by hand brown lunch bags for each of her guests to use as goody bags for their party loot. Find one really cool giveaway rather than a quantity of junk. Our best finds were alien headbands and lime handbags that cost $1 each at a closeout sale.

Remember to expect at least one meltdown during any birthday event.

Sometimes it’s mom.

What are the best ways you’ve found to celebrate birthdays? Weigh in on The Exchange.