Hollywood Saved by Men in Tights

Nico Carbellano  Aug 27, 2008 10:04 am

Hollywood Saved by Men in Tights
 
Superhero movies are box-office gold.
 

 
According to Mark Dippe, director of Spawn: “The most successful movies are the ones that involve new visual effects techniques, and Hollywood is chasing after fresh meat like a pack of wolves.” Superheroes, with their propensity to fly through the air, scale buildings, fell cities and set fire to their own heads, are ideally suited to effects-driven filmmaking.

Neil Gaiman, author of the massively popular Sandman comic book series, has said that he used to think that comics were superior to movies because they have “an infinite special-effects budget.”

Now that movies, for all intents and purposes, also have an infinite special-effects budget, there's no limit to what Hollywood will bring (or will try to bring) to the screen. The Dark Knight cost $1.2 million per minute to make; Spiderman 3, perhaps the most expensive movie of all time,cost roughly $2 million per minute.

Of course, given the fact that superheroes are “a worldwide export...existing in 30 languages and in more than 60 countries," the hope is that they'll more than make up for it in global ticket sales, merchandising and licensing opportunities. Their iconic images can be plastered on everything from Band-Aids to lunchboxes to jockstraps.

As a result, many studios are closing their art-house labels and producing bigger, louder, faster -- but fewer -- movies each year.
 
Superheroes may also be dive-bombing our theaters for another reason: Many argue that they tap into Bush-era Americans' desire for righteous violence, for strong men (albeit in colorful tights) who are willing to shove civil rights aside in order to vanquish the evildoers.

Whether or not you agree with that diagnosis, one thing's clear: The superhero movie has certainly recovered from its undisputed low - 1997's Batman & Robin, with George Clooney suffering under the weight of both a rubber-nippled batsuit and an ambiguous sidekick.

Which is why it makes our list of the 10 worst comic book movies of all time:

 

Tank Girl
Lori Petty played the cult feminist icon opposite Ice-T, cast as a friendly mutant kangaroo. Which just goes to show how few positive role models women have on film.


Fantastic Four
The Marvel quartet take on Dr. Doom after a cosmic storm gives them superpowers. Inaccuracies in storyline outweighed only by inaccuracies in physics.



Daredevil
Ben Affleck is cast as The Man Without Fear - a fitting role, given his willingness to sign on to Jersey Girl, Surviving Christmas and Gigli.



Ghost Rider
A biker becomes the Devil's bounty hunter; his head is completely immersed in flames. Inspired both by the comic book and a freak accident on the American Chopper set.


Howard the Duck
If your secret desire to see a woman making out with a 3-foot anthropomorphic duck has lain dormant for far too long... This is your movie.



Steel
DC Comics' poor-man’s version of Iron Man. At least it kept Shaquille O'Neal from devoting himself to his music career.




Supergirl
Supergirl must save Argo City by escaping the Phantom Zone and retrieving the Omegahedron from an evil sorceress. And the movie's even stupider than it sounds.


Catwoman
Audiences didn't buy the special effects in Halle Berry's turn as Catwoman - nor did they buy Sharon Stone's freakishly ageless complexion. But it wasn’t a total waste: It did inspire Berry to '' thank Warner Brothers for casting me in this piece-of-sh*t, god-awful movie.''

Captain America
The only film in this list not to be given an official theatrical release. Matt Salinger is so awful as the Cap'n, he considered going into seclusion. Just like his father, JD.


Batman and Robin
Bat-nipples. That is all.






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Comments (2) See All Comments »
08-27-2008, 9:52 am
There always HAS to be a political statement in every article about the most inane topic, doesn't there?
"Superheroes may also be dive-bombing our theaters for another reason: Many argue that they tap into Bush-era Americans'
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08-27-2008, 9:54 am
I forgot to add one thing about why superheroes are everywhere:


Lack of original thought in Hollywood. Let's face it, one movie does well about a boy and his dog, and every theatre is going to pump out 50 movies in the next
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