Kevin Depew's Five Things You Need to Know to stay ahead of the pack on Wall Street:

Come Monday, 2009 will be bearing down on us at full speed, high beams screaming, pedal pushed all the way to the floor. And we will stand there in the middle of the road, like postestrus mule deer, frozen in fear and confusion.

What do these blinding lights mean? What is that metallic roar in our ears? Why is it getting louder? And by the way, where did all our money go?

Patience, friend. All in due time. The answers will come, all in due time. But not without first the violent collision of purpose meeting torpor. Clarity can be a mind-altering experience. Just ask the 12-point mule deer hanging behind my couch. Ho ho!

There are Five Things we needed to know this year. At least. But like the stuffed head of a deer has discovered, too late, wisdom rarely survives the taxidermist's knife.

Links to articles below:

1. Debt Crisis vs. Liquidity Crisis

"The issue today is not one of temporary liquidity, time preferences being shortened out of a temporary risk aversion. The issue is too much debt supported by too little real income."

2. The Big Fed Protest

"For this kind of massive protest operation every piece has to be in place or the center won't hold. The risk is that your group looks like a gang of amateur looters raiding a soup kitchen. So I located the nearest bar to the Fed building I could find to kill time before The Big Fed Protest went down."

3. Begging for a Bailout

"Scientists and monkeys have a long and complicated history of competing against each other, with neither side really owning much of an edge. Sometimes the scientists win, and a monkey is strapped onto a rocket and blasted into space for no real purpose other than as a show of brute force. Sometimes the monkeys win, and you get articles like this one from NewScientist..."

4. Where Were You When the Fun Stopped?

"I leaned my head through the divider separating me and the driver and shouted, "Do you take American dollars? It's all I have." It's a little inside joke I have with the drivers in this city. Usually, we share a similar sense of humor and a mutual distaste for poor directions and strong perfumes. But not tonight. Not anymore."

5. It Was Fun While It Lasted

"We were strolling along the beach about halfway to the first jetty when I realized something was slightly off, like the jangling of nerves only moments before a horrible accident... when the danger is felt not seen."